3 Ways Facilitating Women’s Circles Healed Me
I’ve always had a desire for connection. As a child, my nickname, “Yoke” was one that stood for unity.
Growing up in my neighborhood, I had a strong need for belonging and community. Therefore, as an adult, I had a deep yearning to create community. Sisterhood actually. Innately, I knew that there was beauty in female relationships. I couldn’t explain it. It was a visceral feeling beyond comprehension.
I answered the call.
I heard in my spirit that I was to lead sister circles due to shifts that happened for me personally. As I was going through my own stuff, I thought about how many other women go through things because they feel alone.
I believe magic happens when women gather to share, laugh and heal. I sincerely desired to create safe and loving spaces for women to be brave and speak their truths.
What I didn’t realize was that my own healing would occur through the blessing of sister circles. Did I stumble along the way, yes indeed! Did I wish I’d done things differently, absolutely! But I wouldn’t have changed anything about my journey of self-awareness and self-love.
When I first launched my sister circles, I didn’t fully understand how to create them. I had no guidance…. not a clue. What I did have was a desire to share and hold loving, safe, brave space for women to be held and loved. So, what did I do? I answered the call, jumped out there, and took a leap of faith. I was terrified, and yet…I felt the fear and did it anyway.
As I reflect upon my journey, there are 3 components of facilitating sister circles, I feel supported me in my evolution of sister circle facilitation. They are actually what I consider gifts from the universe. My intention to provide space for women to connect, revealed where, as a space holder, I needed to connect and hold space for myself.
The first gift as a result of facilitating sister circles, was discovering the importance of being Authentic. This may have been one of my most challenging gifts to receive due to the fact that I had not intimately experienced the information I was delivering. Instead, I intellectually comprehended information and shared. Even though I had a great desire to serve, that desire wasn’t enough.
I needed to be intimately connected to Spirit and to myself so that I could show up authentically. What I discovered was that this required time for me to pause and truly learn what self-intimacy was. I had to fall deeply in love with myself and learn who I was.
I was so intellectually involved, that I didn’t know how to surrender to the essence of my authentic self. I was afraid. I didn’t know who my authentic self was. So, I started to ask myself deeper questions. Questions like, “Who am I?” What’s my why, why do I want to lead sister circles? Why am I so attached to the number of women that show up?”, “What is my true intention?”, “Would I continue to have a desire to serve if no one ever participated?”, “What is the truth behind my why”. I had to get really honest about my “Why”. I had to source my spirit, and dive deep to obtain the truth through contemplative prayer and meditation.
I now realize that for me, it's impossible to facilitate a sister circle without asking the deeper questions. These questions are supportive to allowing the true authentic self to show up for the circle. When the energy of that person is present, everyone can sense it and in turn are allowed to be real and authentic as well.
Secondly, what I wish I had known was, the necessity of being connected to Community. When I began facilitating sister circles, I felt isolated. I couldn’t seem to find others I could share my fears, concerns or frustrations with. I desired a network of support, specifically with women that spoke my language and could relate to the process of establishing sister circles.
While my mother, husband or family members did the best they could in supporting me, bless their hearts, they had no idea what I was up to. After much prayer I found a strong sisterhood.
In this community of women, I was able to open myself up without judgment or shame. I could speak about what it felt like to hold face-to-face circles or virtual circles and they understood. I could cry, laugh, or even sing if I wanted to. It’s in community that I have found my transformative medicine to elevate my experience as a sister circle facilitator. It’s in community where I am healed…over and over again.
Lastly, Embodiment was a beautiful by-product of facilitating sister circles. In the past, I was a human file cabinet. My mind contained a wealth of facts and figures. I intellectualized my sister circle facilitation. I could recite famous quotes and bring in books and articles to reinforce my thoughts, but I didn’t understand the importance of integration and embodiment.
I didn’t fully understand what it meant to walk my talk.
The journey of sister circle facilitation allowed me to walk my talk. Through the healing power of sister circle facilitation, I transformed powerfully in ways I never expected! So, for example, if I delivered a message on trust, I would share the benefits of trusting when things appeared scary. Then I would talk about why it was important to surrender, relax and ground in trust.
However, I noticed and became aware that when the universe presented me with opportunities to embody trust…I would fold. I noticed I defaulted into habitual behaviors of fear and anxiety. I believe I would do that because I had not done the healing work to explore the root of distrust. Once I became aware of my distrust, I acknowledged and accepted that this was a chance to heal, therefore I took action. At that point, I could share the message from an embodied place.
Overall, I believe Authenticity, Community and Embodiment are needed to facilitate a beautiful sister circle. Healing work is necessary and exploring wounds from my past, loving my inner child, healing emotional and mental trauma, and diving deep into my shadow, supported me tremendously in facilitating sister circles.
I give thanks for the journey and The ACE Factor as everything unfolded exactly as it should. In the end, through sister circle facilitation, I developed a deeper awareness of the importance of being authentic, thriving in my community and embodying the essence of what it means to be a true goddess. Giving myself the love and compassion needed to heal and offer support to others as well. Hopefully this factor will support you in doing the same.
by Goddess Annika