What families can expect when a loved one enters hospice
How to cope when death is near…
Finding out someone you love is entering hospice can be overwhelming. In the case of family members acting as caregivers, this bewilderment is often compounded by a sense of failure or guilt, when in reality it's one of the best decisions you could make[ET1] for a terminally ill loved one.
Many people have no idea what to anticipate, and there are many misconceptions surrounding hospice. Read on for practical advice for what families can expect when a loved one enters hospice care.
What is hospice?
Hospice is designed to provide your loved one with the best possible quality of life for what time remains. People enter hospice because they decide they would rather be comfortable than endure curative treatments for a terminal illness, which are often painful and distressing.
A team of professionals, including a nurse, chaplain, hospice social worker, and doctor, as well as volunteers will work cooperatively to help reach your loved one's goals. At the time someone enters hospice, the doctor has determined there is a terminal condition, and life is expected to continue for no more than six months.
Difficult conversations
Preparing for a death[ET2] is one of the most painful aspects of love and life. As you process what’s happening, a helpful tool in charting the course is to prepare for the inevitable. Love Lives On notes by talking through what end-of-life arrangements your loved one prefers, it can alleviate much of your burden when the time comes, and help your loved one to know practical details are settled. When facing the end, many people feel a better sense of control just by knowing things are in place.
Details and documents
Some people take comfort in planning many of the details of their funeral or memorial event. It’s important to find out concerns like whether your loved one prefers burial or cremation or if they would like any special songs or tributes, as well as practical matters like what to do with pets and where you should find important documents. You will need to locate paperwork like insurance policies and a last will and testament.
If your loved one is unable to tell you about crucial paperwork, note you can often investigate the documents’ whereabouts through other resources. For instance, other family members might know, a former employer might have information, or you might find those essentials by sorting through belongings. And if all else fails, sometimes officials can provide you assistance with insurance policies, like the office of your state insurance commissioner.
Where will care happen?
Generally speaking, hospice occurs at home, or sometimes the patient goes to a hospice care facility. When care is in your residence, equipment and personnel will come to you, and the team can take care of making arrangements for the transportation of necessities.
Your loved one could be moved to a hospital or another care facility if he or she experiences a secondary health issue that can potentially be cured, such as pneumonia. If this occurs, it is temporary and with the intention of leaving inpatient care when the secondary issue is resolved. The doctor is the team member who determines if inpatient care is no longer needed and your loved one can return home.
The physical aspects
Many people worry about the death event their loved one will endure. What will it look like? Will my loved one suffer? As Live Science explains, the process of dying can vary to an extent, but there are a handful of steps that normally occur as the body shuts down, and familiarity can allay some of those concerns.
When the time is near, you can expect things like reduced appetite, slower movement, and social withdrawal. Breathing might change and even stop for moments at a time. Hearing is believed to be one of the last senses to go, so don’t hesitate to speak words of comfort to your loved one when the time comes.
The next chapter
Facing the loss of someone you love is one of the hardest things you will ever do. Hospice continues to be a resource to family members after your loved one passes. Please don't hesitate to reach out if you are in need of grief counseling. In the meantime, do some planning and have those difficult conversations, so both you and your loved one can feel more at ease.
